Weekend to Remember- Day 1

Session One

Main Theme: Move from Isolation to Oneness

Overview: Why Marriages Fail- Understanding what threatens our marriage can help us achieve oneness.

Threats:

1. Difficult Adjustments- Our culture does not encourage couples to make the adjustments necessary to achieve marital oneness. Each person brings different backgrounds into the marriage. Things like values, religion, past relationships, pain, scarres... Our superficial motivations require us to make some adjustments. Sometimes those adjustments can be difficult. Differing expectations about marriage result in unexpected adjustments. Things like roles, how to express love, plans for the future, all change when you move from being single to being married.

2. Culture Patterns- Our culture tells us we need to be 50/50. You do your part and I will do mine. You give, and then I give. This pattern is destine to self destruct.

3. Inevitable Difficulties- It's not if they will come, but how we respond to them when they do. There are two failures in our response to difficulties. One is failing to anticipate that difficulties will come, and two is our failure to respond properly to those difficulties. Difficulties do not mean that something is wrong with your marriage, it means you are human. Our response to difficulties can either drive us apart or bring us together. Sometimes we pretend that there are no problems, that they will just go away on their own. Sometimes we attack or blame others for the problems. We must come up with a plan on how to work through our problems without rejecting or withdrawing from our spouse.

4. Extramarital Affairs- An affair is an escape or search for fulfillment outside of marriage. This does not have to be with another person. There can be hobby affairs, career affairs, even family affairs(putting your kids before your spouse).

5. Selfishness- We are born self centered, and this is destructive in relationships. Our culture encourages us to be selfish, "It's all about YOU" Selfishness robs a relationship of it's romance. We become critical of our spouses weaknesses, or failure to meet our expectations. Our disappointment in them can lead to bitterness, rejection, our discouragement.